Is Sex Important in Relationships?

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Posted By Thomas Mabe

How important is sex in relationships? What should you do if you and your partner do not share the same opinions? Sure, sex can make you feel good and safe, and it can increase your intimacy, but is it really the pillar of successful relationships? Keep reading to find out!

Is Sex Important?

Firstly, it’s always tough to find a universal answer to questions about relationships and sex. All of us are unique, and everyone has their own priorities and preferences. The answer to this question could depend on several factors. That includes your individual relationship, beliefs, needs, sexual desires, and more.

To some, sex may not be a necessity at all due to low libido or abstinence. Others could suffer from medical problems or traumas. There are several other legitimate reasons why people could consider sex as unimportant.

But, in most cases, those reasons may not reflect the state of your relationship. If someone believes that sex is unimportant, it doesn’t necessarily entail that they do not respect, value, or love their partner. For example, some asexual couples can mutually decide if sex is undesired or insignificant. Most sex therapists argue that those kinds of relationships are equally as intimate and loving.

However, sex is still an essential aspect of many romantic relationships. Lots of people require sexual intimacy for a healthy relationship. They cannot form a bond with someone without it. And from another perspective, sex is constantly glorified through the media and other aspects of our society. But how can you decide if sex is important to you?

What Makes Sex Important to Some?

Overall, sex is considered to be deeply intimate, personal, and spiritual. Through sex, people can form a unique bond. They can establish a strong emotional attachment.

Yet, others may view it as purely physical. They could enjoy sex solely for the pleasure that it can bring them. There are so many different kinds of sexual activities that people may simply love to explore in a purely sexual or a short-term intimate relationship.

What’s more, many could consider sex necessary only for reproductive purposes. And some people could also use sex as an important goal-based activity. For example, people can use sex to boost their social status or even take revenge on someone. Additionally, some could also think sex is essential because their partner insists on it.

Since there is so much variety in how we define the importance of sex, everyone has a different perspective.

For instance, sex could be vital because it could deepen your bond. It’s also a great way of expressing affection or love. Moreover, regular sex can increase your feelings of security. It can also offer many other physical and emotional benefits.

Benefits of Regular Sex?

Sexual activities can surely bring you a lot of pleasure in the heat of passion. Yet, they can also benefit your body and mind and elevate your bond with someone.

From an emotional angle, regular sex can improve self-confidence. It can also deepen your connection with someone. Sexual activities can release many important hormones, such as dopamine, endorphins, or oxytocin. That, in turn, reduces stress and elevates your mood. Also, these hormones can nurture positive emotions and make you happy. Sex is also a way to release tension. Also, during an orgasm, the body produces prolactin, which can improve your sleep.

Also, sex offers numerous physical benefits. For instance, it can boost your immunity and burn a lot of calories. It can also improve your blood flow and reduce the chances of heart problems. Moreover, sex can improve your memory and cognitive function. For women, frequent sex may also ease period cramps. What’s more, it can regulate bladder control after pregnancy. And for men, regular orgasms can decrease the risk of prostate cancer.

Surely, sex has a myriad of benefits that are almost essential for our everyday lives. Still, it’s quite unlikely that those who abstain from it or deem it unimportant will become ill or suffer from emotional issues. Additionally, the advantages of sex shouldn’t be used to manipulate someone into having it.

Intimacy Without Sex

While it’s true that intimacy is measured through sex, there are many other ways to deepen your connection. Physical and emotional intimacy encompasses many non-sexual activities. Those include:

  • Cuddling
  • Kissing
  • Bonding through various activities and hobbies
  • Talking
  • Holding hands

Some of them could produce similar effects or benefits that you could get from sex. For example, cuddling can release similar hormones that can increase intimacy. Also, shared hobbies or interests could stimulate both partners mentally. If you frequently go on dates or dinners and spend some time together away from your children or obligations, you can also revitalize your bond and deepen your relationship.

Overall, many people define intimacy as a way of being close to someone and doing things together. That can create and sustain a powerful bond even without frequent sexual activity.

How Important Is Sexual Compatibility?

As mentioned, it’s not easy to answer the question of whether sex is important or not. However, if this question is affecting your life, it may be better to think about the significance of sexual compatibility.

Namely, it’s very tough to have a relationship in which you are 100% interested in sex while the other person is not. That could be due to sexual preferences, low/high libido, physical pain from sex, traumas, health conditions, etc.

Some people could make compromises and respect their partner’s wishes. And for some non-sexual partners, they could allow the other person to practice non-monogamy. They could fulfill their sexual needs like that. If you are incompatible, it may be possible to find a way to work around that. However, if your partner does not respect your views on sex, it could be time to rethink the relationship or see a sex therapist.

Your Libido Can Change Over Time

Everyone has a unique libido. It is okay if it fluctuates over time. There are multiple reasons why a person could experience periods of high or low sex drive.

In most cases, the biggest culprits are age and stress. People will age in different ways, and that will reflect on their sex drive. Additionally, people who lead a stressful lifestyle could suddenly feel a drop in their libido. Your sex drive could also be reduced due to relationship issues. Lower intimacy levels, mistrust, a lack of honesty, and recurring arguments could all be the cause.

If you have experienced low libido and you think that something is wrong, don’t blame yourself. If your libido has changed due to a lifestyle issue or a medical condition, it might be possible to remedy it through treatment.

How to Resolve These Problems?

Like we’ve said above, communication is crucial. You may not want to break up with your partner solely because you are sexually incompatible with them. You could try several ways to work around that.

Firstly, you should start any conversation with an open mind. Don’t be judgemental of your partner’s preferences. If your libido is changing and you are interested in having more sex, you should certainly point that out to your partner. You could tell them that your interests are changing. Then, ask your partner for their opinion.

And if you have experienced low libido and want to cut back on sex, you should let your partner know. Without an open discussion, both sides could come to the wrong conclusions.

If your partner decides that sex is not for them anymore, you could find solutions in ethical non-monogamy. You could also talk about sexual activities that aren’t related to intercourse, and maybe your partner could be willing to try them. The spark in your relationship may have faded. You could try a romantic getaway. Also, you can explore new sexual activities. That includes fulfilling your or your partner’s fantasies, using sex toys, trying new positions, watching porn, etc.

Of course, it’s always a good idea to visit a counselor or therapist. They could offer an expert opinion and analyze your situation objectively.


Since everyone is different, talking about sex may be the only way to resolve your issues with your partner. As we’ve said, a lot of it comes down to sexual compatibility. Everyone will have their own opinion of what sex means to them. That’s why it’s essential to understand your partner and try to make them understand you and your needs.

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